Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Chronicle of the Stay-Over Cat

If you had a cat for a month, what would you do with it?  BLOG about it of course!!
    This is a repeat of my facebook chronicles of the stay-over cat.  I was watching a silly one year-old cat for my friends Adam and Rachel while they were in Florida for an away rotation.  For those of you unfamiliar with the "away rotation" it consists of one month spent at another medical school, working with their doctors as a preview for residency.  You get to know them, they get to know you, and you hope against hope that they don't think you're an incapable jerk.  Anyway, Dunkin the cat was mine for about a month, and hilarity ensued.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; first day: Dunkin the cat is currently hiding behind my couch. I suspect this is because he is homesick, and because my bed has too much stuff under it to serve as an acceptable fortress of solitude.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 2: I had never imagined that my apartment contained a 4th invisible dimension, but nevertheless the cat must have found one and entered it, because I can not find him in any nook or cranny.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 3: Almost lured the creature out of his lair with gentle caresses, until he slunk back into the darkness behind the couch. The plan is progressing well.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 4: This ill-disposed cat is making my head spin. One minute he's happily purring and coming out into the real world, and the next he makes a quick strike at your wrist with his pointy teeth. Needless to say he has been banned from the bedroom and his chicken until he puts those teeth away. ...sigh... so close to progress, yet still so far.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 5: Dunkin has turned the corner.. literally. The silly creature is poking his head around the corner of the couch, curious about the outside world. He also now likes being pet, and he chased a fly around earlier.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; chapter 6 - the great escape: Dunkin played the part of Steve McQueen today by trying to run the fence (ie: he wanted to get out of the door!) He was very appreciative when I got home too!!

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 7: Dunkin has now taken to greeting me when I come home, displaying his belly in a silly manner for my delight. Deep down in his diabolical kitty brain, I suspect he may actually be plotting to trip me.

Chronicle of the stay over cat; day 8: "What do you want from me cat?". Silly cat has discovered that sitting on my papers is and excellent way to get my attention (which he has been vying for ALL day).

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 9: Most cats rub against your legs for attention. Dunkin, strange cat that he is, uses his gigantic monster-feet to PROPEL himself INTO my legs. He may be trying to knock me over with his ninja attacks so he can escape.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 10, in which Dunkin gets a new name:
Kosuke: "How's Donkey?"
Me: "What?!? What Donkey?" *thoroughly confused*
Kosuke: "the neko (cat)"
Ah, Japenglish. So since Kosuke thought I was saying donkey instead of Dunkin this whole time, the cat now has a new nickname.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 11, sneak attacks: With eyes as wide as the moon, the creature stalks his prey, wiggles his kitty-bum, and pounces. Unfortunately the prey was an inedible robe-tie.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 12, OCD much?: The fastidious Sir Dunkin gift-wrapped me a present today. The kitty-litter liner was pulled from each of the four sides into the middle, until it fully covered his litter, resembling the back of an envelope. I guess I "got the message" in the end. He obviously thought it was high time to clean the littler box!

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 13: "Dunkin!", I call. Suddenly, a horrific rumbling erupts from underneath my sink, as though the pipes will burst. I peek into the area, cautiously, and see nothing. More rustling occurs and I see a black and white head poke out at me and cough. Somehow, Dunkin had gotten behind the dish washer! He definitely has a talent for small spaces.

Chronicle; day 13.2; sneak attacks reversed: The big-eyed playful one was fully engrossed. He had been playing fervently with a stray plastic bag. Out of nowhere, a gigantic human rushed at him, her arms flailing wildly and whooping a war-cry to the skies. He fled at full speed, heart only slightly faster than his feet. Marie 1: Cat 1 The scores even out.

 Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 14: *BOING!!* A black and white face appeared briefly to peer over the top of the kitchen table and disappeared just as quickly. I was flabbergasted, to say the least, that Dunkin-the-oddest-cat-in-existence was so interested in my breakfast that he felt the need to jump all the way from the floor just to get a better view.

Chronicle; day 16: Dunkin, the double Ph.D. in catly sciences and all-around-savant, ponders the mysteries of the universe from his lair. 'I have it! Einstein was so close, but not quite. Of course it all makes sense now! E=mc squared BUT it ALSO equals...OMGFASTMOVINGOBJECTMUSTCHASEIT!' And so the discovery of the final mystery of the universe was thwarted by a human with a cat toy.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 16.2: It is comforting to fall asleep with a warm, purring creature nestled in the crook of your arm.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat: day 17: Idea #547 to get more treats: If I lay on my side, and scooch using my claws, the human may think I am paraplegic and take pity on me.

Chronicle; day 18: The human may be capable of intelligence. In my recent attempt to communicate, she actually tried to answer me back in cat-speak. The entire intonation was wrong, however, so she ended up saying, "The pudding is in my face."

Chronicle; day 19: Sometimes the human changes her fur. Today her back paws are tongue-color, her back legs are sun-color, and her back fur is sky-color with a tail. I especially like when she wears the tail because I can CHASE it! (Robe and pjs!)

Chronicle 19.5: I flick my ear in your general direction... and at any song recorded before the 1960s. (apparently the cat has discriminating taste...)

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 20: Smelly cat, smelly cat, it is not your fault.
Later: in which the cat meets Kosuke.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 21: This cat is obviously racist against white people. He made such a fuss over me, Josh and Sara, but blindly accepts Kosuke. Unbelievable.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; day 22: Dunkin no longer loves me. He will not cuddle me anymore, and he didn't even GREET me with his cute belly-flip when I came home! He loves Kosuke with all of his kitty-might now, and there is no room left for me. Sigh.

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; 2 days to go: This morning I found Dunkin beneath a pile of my newly-laundered scrubs. Dr. Kitty will save you. Have no fear!

Chronicle of the stay-over cat; 1 day to go: I came home to find a head-sized hole in the blinds where they had been pushed to either side. I wonder how that happened???

Chronicles of the stay-over cat: last day: Dunkin doesn't seem to understand the concept of a glass coffee-table... but it's so fun to be evil and make him think he can get the toy through the glass!

Dunkin is gone now, happily back with his parents, for those of you who wondered. The handoff went well and I suspect that he is happily jumping around their apartment right now.

   In all honestly, it has been a couple of weeks since then, and I still find myself cautiously opening the front door so that I don't have to chase after an escapee.  It is the memory of him that remains and threatens to leave every time I open the door and don't see my little furry friend.  One day, when I have settled down in a residency program, I will have a more permanent kind of stay-over cat, preferably orange.  

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